The Best and Worst Commercials from The Big Game

I’ll admit: I’m not super interested in watching the biggest night in football. But you can bet your butt I was behind the TV watching and waiting for an ounce of controversy, wit, drama or emotion from these coveted multi-million-dollar ads. Companies pay outrageous amounts of money to have their ads played during the elusive game. This year, it’ll cost a dazzling $5.25 million for a 30-second ad. For us math-illiterates, that’s $175K per second. Cardi B said it best: “All a bad bitch need is the money.” It appears the NFL truly is that bitch.

By Justin Gillmor

We ranked Super Bowl LII commercials from worst to best. Here’s the legally- backed, evidence-based, peer-reviewed facts.

Kia – ‘Give it Everything’

I felt like I was sitting through a 3-hour extended-version Hobbit. Such an unnerving voiceover with that middle-America little boy twang. I can almost smell the American dream! Kia, I know your intentions were good, but you’re based in South Korea. Are you trying to be ironic?

Score: 1/10

Hyundai‘The Elevator’

A lot is going on here and I am overwhelmed. Creative? Yes. Effective? Absolutely not. Jason Bateman, buddy, bro, chief. You can do so much better than playing dress-up for Hyundai.

Score: 2/10

bubly — ‘Bublé vs bubly’

Doesn’t Michael Bublé’s face remind you of the cutest puppy? How can you not fall in love with him? Maybe I’m biased because La Croix is king, but bubly just doesn’t strike a chord with me. Maybe some free samples would help.

Score: 4/10

Bumble – ‘Serena Willliams’

Serena! Queen! It’s so good to see you again. We all know you DO NOT need the help of Bumble to secure a man. But we sure as hell do. Thanks for the inspiration and empowerment:)

Score: 6/10

M&M’s — ‘Bad Passenger’

A mom driving a mini-van admonishing her kids. How relatable! Been there, done that. Christina Applegate is so charming and funny. It only makes sense that she plays the mother of three cute M&M babies.

Score: 7.5/10

Audi – ‘Cashew’

Creativity really earned this one its high rating. A serene, dream-like introduction blends perfectly with an abrupt, witty ending. Well done Audi, but we still can’t afford you. P.S. kudos for the new fleet of electric cars! Yay sustainability!

Score: 8/10

Olay – ‘Killer Skin’

This one has it all. Plot? Check. Giggles? Check. Effective advertising? Double check. Olay, I forgot you existed, but thanks for the laugh. Maybe I do need some new wrinkle treatment after all…

Score: 8.5/10

Handmaid’s Tale Season 3

I’ll make this one short. I for one, haven’t slept since the last episode of season 2. Watch party anyone?

Score: 9/10

Doritos – Chance the Rapper x Backstreet Boys

Yes! Yes! Yes! This is what we live for Doritos! What an iconic combination. Choreography and outfits are on fleek. I’m almost willing to give Flaming Hot Nacho Doritos a taste if they invoke memories of this commercial.

Score: 9.5/10

Avocados from Mexico – ‘Top Dog’

Avocados will never go out of style, and I don’t even mind that I’m being compared to a dog. Speaking of dogs, all of them in this commercial are 10/10 good boys. Hilarious, brief, and clever. BLEND only buys Avocados from Mexico.

Score: 10/10